Confessions of a Mockstar

Someone once told me, incinerators will kill you...

2006-04-30T02:07:00.000+08:00

From a friend and a fellow 'concerned citizen':

Dear All,

In response to some idiotic letters published in the Star on the incinerator (see below), I urge you to write in to the Star/media to voice our concern. Send your letters to editor@thestar.com.my.

Answers to questions why you should voice your concern against the incinerator in the media

Q: What is this I hear about the Broga incinerator being built in a water catchment area?

A: That is true. While we are facing problems of smelly tap water because of leachate from landfills that end up in water catchment areas, the authorities are now planning to build an incinerator in a water catchment area near the Sungai Semenyih that supplies water to more 1.5 mil people in the Klang Valley.

Q: Incinerators are used by developed countries which have higher environmental standards than Malaysia. Surely, it can't be that bad?

A: Incinerator is a dying technology. Developing countries often end up as dumping ground for obsolete technologies. Worse, in the case of Broga, it is going to be a guinea-pig site to test a largely unknown technology.

In the home country of Ebara Corporation, incinerators are gradually being phase-out as Japan follows stricter dioxin-emission standards since 2002. Many studies have shown that dioxin is a cancer causing agent. Check out the global anti-incineration movement.

Q: What do we do with all our garbage if we don't have the incinerator???

A: There are so many ways to solve our garbage problems. It is because we have a throw-away lifestyle that we can hardly envision a zero garbage economy. We cannot continue to produce garbage because our world is finite. Material has to be recycled back to nature. In the same way, we need to start thinking of garbage as resources that can be re-used and recycled. So, support recycling campaign, practise composting and lobby for a holistic and sustainable solid waste management system.

Q: Is landfill the best solution given that it pollutes the soil and contaminates our water source?

A: Most of our landfills are open dumps with no lining to prevent leachate. The government should only approve sanitary landfills and implement waste separation to prevent non-biodegradable waste from getting into the landfills.

Then there is the problem of good, sanitary landfill forced into 'early retirement' as it succumbs to public complaints despite the landfill being there first! All this is because land use plan was ignored in favour of development projects especially housing projects which encroached into the landfill buffer zone. For example, the 20-year lifespan of the Ayer Itam landfill in Puchong was halved at the time it was shut down in early 2005. Government must be held accountable to protect landfill zone against encroachment.

Q: Isn't thermal treatment different from incineration and touted as the cutting-edge waste management solution?

A: Pyrolysis, thermal gasification and Refused-derived fuel are essentially incineration as they all involve a combustion process. The name difference is just the manufacturers' creative and deceptive tactics. Far from cutting-edge, these technologies do not make waste disappear but convert them instead into hazardous gases, slag and ash. In the end, we are saddle with a new set of problems. Incineration is an expensive option and it still requires a landfill to store the toxic ashes.

Q: But the government vouched that incineration is good for the environment and poses no threat to human health?

A: That's exactly what the incinerator spin doctors/proponents would like you to believe. But no incineration technology can claim to be hazardous-free, as it cannot guarantee 100% efficiency. The combustion process releases pollutants such as dioxin, lead and other heavy metals into the environment.
In fact, the United Nations Environmental Programme (UNEP) has identified all forms of incineration as sources of dioxin and this toxic substance is one of the 12 pollutants that a global treaty – the Stockholm Convention is committed to reduce and eliminate its releases. The legally binding agreement came into force in May, 2004 and Malaysia is a signatory.

Q: Didn't the government say the incinerator come with built-in pollution-control mechanisms?

A: The truth is the built-in mechanisms are untested. And with the country's less than desirable track record of public infrastructures and equipments maintenance, the result could be catastrophic!

Q: But dioxin is already in the environment from industrial activities as well as from motor vehicle emissions?

A: That is true. However, with the incinerator project, it is 'burning' tax-payers money that does not solve their problems but only guarantee to bring them more problems in the form of dioxin and other chemical-poisoning. That is fool-hardy policy especially when we have yet to allow alternative waste reduction measures a chance to work. The recycling rate is only 5%. With better coordination and recycling infrastructure, we can cut down the waste stream and do without incinerator. In fact, incineration will negate all efforts to promote recycling and a sustainable lifestyle.

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Opinion below taken from The Star Online.

Wednesday April 26, 2006

Time to get tough and build the incinerator

I SUPPORT Reader of Shah Alam, "Be firm on rubbish" (The Star, April
25) on ways to manage our waste.

Every now and then we hear of ammonia contaminating our rivers as a
result of leachate spillage or seepage. All this will result in a huge
disruption to our domestic supply of fresh water.

The way we are managing our waste is primitively third world in
nature, whether it is sanitary or unsanitary landfills.

We are living in a new millennium and yet when the Government wanted
the state-of-the art incinerator system, droves of so-called
"concerned citizens" demonstrated against it.

When our water was contaminated it was the same "concerned citizens"
who pointed fingers at the authorities for "allowing this to happen."

Come on Malaysians, wake up and stop being hypocrites. I remember one
of the first English phrases that my teacher taught me at school was:
"You can't have your cake and eat it, too."

It is about time the Government got tough. If an incinerator is
necessary, build it.

RIDZUAN JUSOH,
Kuala Lumpur.

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Referenced opinion taken from The Star Online.

Tuesday April 25, 2006

Be firm on rubbish

Of LATE, there has been so much hue and cry over the illegal dumping
of rubbish, leachate polluting our rivers, etc.

Rubbish will always be generated whether you like it or not.

Closing one dumpsite after another will not solve the problem in the long run.

The problem we are facing is not unique to our country. Look at Japan
or Singapore or Taiwan, how do they dispose of their rubbish?

If incinerators are the answer, then the Government should have the
political will to get this done for the sake of our future
generations.

READER,
Shah Alam.

Tainted History, Dangerous Minds

2006-04-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

How can we put a stop to this kind of intimidation? If we all stand together as Malaysians, and not be divided by race, culture and religion, then we have a slight glimmer of a chance.

For far too long our nation has made decisions based on race, religion, bad capitalism and corruption. It's ironic that a religious government should be corrupt as well. But then again, religion has always been a good way to win votes and manipulate the masses. In the wrong hands, a very powerful and dangerous tool.

We, the people, have to remind the government to be concerned about us. To make decisions with our well-being in consideration, not just the well-being of the majority race, and especially not just the well-being of their own, and their cronies' bank accounts.

Many of us live and die in silent discontent. Is not a better life worth fighting for? Even if not for you, but for your children, your grandchildren, and future generations. What is the point of talking, complaining, being frustrated and being angry only behind closed doors!? Why allow racial tensions to plague us because of the ignorant and foolish? If you are happy and content, teach us. If you are not, then stop pretending to be.

To the powers that be, please stop trying to erase us from our history books. We have been here for generations. We've breathed the air and fertilized the soil. We've fed the nation like a mother feeds her young. We've toiled for centuries. Do not create false illusions of muhibbah. Help us transcend illusions and superficialities. Give us what you've promised! A forward-thinking, intelligent nation undivided by race, culture and religion. Or else... the consequences of an uncivilized nation are many and ugly to bear.

I'll pick beauty over ignorance any day.

News articles below taken from Malaysiakini.

BN MP gets 'ultimatum' from Umno Youth
Beh Lih Yi
Mar 28, 06 5:21pm
A MCA parliamentarian's scathing speech on religion and history in the Dewan Rakyat two weeks ago has prompted an unannounced visit by Umno Youth members bearing a protest letter.

On March 15, Kelana Jaya MP Loh Seng Kok had complained in the House about the 'imbalance' in the history textbook syllabus, Muslim prayer recital gu! idelines and the problems faced by non-Muslims in relation to places of worship.

One of his peers had warned him then about the potential hazards of speaking his mind and about his choice of words.

It is learnt that, six days later, some 50 Umno Youth members, led by Kelana Jaya division chief Abdul Halim Samad, paid him a visit. Their sudden arrival at about 9.30pm took those at the office by surprise.

Loh was handed a protest letter. It is learnt that Abdul Halim told him, "We don't want to hear any explanation now; this is our letter, you read and answer it."

The MP was also purportedly told that Umno Youth would "take action" if he failed to respond to the letter within several days. Some in the group had brought along video cameras to record the brief meeting.

It is learnt that the Youth wing! has rejected Loh's proposal to set up a religious development department on the grounds that this would undermine the position of Islam as the official religion.

The Kelana Jaya division had apparently held a meeting to discuss the speech and concluded that Loh's proposal had hurt the feelings of Malay Malaysians, who make up the majority of voters in the parliamentary constituency of the same name.

It is also learnt that a copy of the letter to Loh has been sent to Umno leaders at the national, state and divisional levels, as well as to Malay-based non-governmental organisations.

'Sensitive matter'

Contacted today, Abdul Halim confirmed that he had submitted a protest letter to Loh but declined to comment on the contents.

Asked for the reasons behind the division's discontent, he replied: "There are two or three grounds but I cannot tell you over the phone now."

On whether the division ! had gone to the MP's office to teach him a lesson, he refused to comment, saying that it was a "sensitive" matter.

Meanwhile, Loh when met at Parliament, said he is willing to meet with anyone.

"I don't deny that there are people who have visited me. I am willing to explain to anyone the context of my speech," said the first-term MP and former aide to ex-MCA president Dr Ling Liong Sik.

It is learnt that a dialogue will be held this week between the Umno Youth Kelana Jaya division and Loh.

Selangor Umno deputy chief Muhammad Muhd Taib is said to have been informed of the matter, but could not be reached for comment.
--------------------------------------

Religion & History: BN MP with all guns blazing
Beh Lih Yi
Mar 15, 06 7:05pm

A Barisan Nasional (BN) parliamentarian today raised the temperature in the Dewan Rakyat by touching on history and religion. This prompted another BN MP to issue a caution.

In a no-holds-barred speech, Loh Seng Kok (BN-Kelana Jaya) complained about 'imbalanced' history textbooks, new prayer recital guidelines and the problems faced by non-Muslims with regards to places of worship.

Loh said the syllabus of history textbooks ignored the contribution of non-bumiputeras and only emphasised on the Islamic civilisation.

Terming it as "incomplete and imbalanced", he said the syllabus does not encourage critical thinking among ! the students.

"For instance, the fight against the Japanese Occupation during World War II is portrayed as only the effort of the Malays but ignored the role of Chinese and Indian Malaysians," he added.

Furthermore, he said the syllabus from Form One to Form Five does not provide a deeper understanding of other civilisations.

"Five out of the 10 chapters in the Form Four history textbook only focused on the Islamic civilisation," he added.

Prayer recital guideline

Earlier, Loh also complained about the prayer recital guidelines which were being drafted by the Department of Islamic Development (Jakim).

According to him, the new guidelines would be imposed on "everyone and every government and private agency" during official or semi-official functions.

"The guidelines are being drafted without consultation, reference or discussion with representatives of other religions," he s! aid while seconding the motion to thank the royal address.

"This is against the principle of respect, understanding, discussion and transparency promoted by the government and its leaders," he added.

Loh also urged the government not to ignore providing allocation and basic facilities for non-Muslim places of worship.

He claimed that one of the problems faced was the Registrar of Societies (ROS) revoking the registration of these places of worship without strong reasons.

For example, he said a church was recently de-registered by the ROS due to confusion regarding its membership, failing to publicly display meeting notices and accepting university students as church members without prior consent from the university's vice-chancellor.

In view of this, Loh said the time was ripe for the establishment of a religions development department.

He said the department would be seen as a step towards recognising other religions and upholding the ! spirit of religious freedom enshrined in the federal constitution.

"If Jakim is needed, the religions development department must be established as well," he added.

'Dangerous' interpretation

At the end of his speech, Mohamed Aziz (BN-Sri Gading) issued a caution to Loh, saying his words could be interpreted in a 'dangerous' way.

"The country's harmony is based on the nation's history, where there was a consensus reached by the different ethnic groups... we shouldn't just look at superficial issues.

"The nation has also never denied freedom of religion," he added.

Also irked was Salahuddin Ayub (PAS-Kubang Kerian), who told Loh not to question the prayer recital guidelines.

He warned that the BN MP's speech could lead to a rift between the dif! ferent races.

In another development, Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi in a written reply to Chow Kon Yeow (DAP-Tanjong) today reiterated his rejection to the formation of an interfaith commission.

He said the proposal had caused controversies and widened the division among different religions.

However, the premier added that dialogues will be held between the various faiths from time to time.

Anyone up for some Racism?

2006-03-24T21:18:00.000+08:00

I'm currently developing a script dealing with the issue of racism in Malaysia, which will later be translated into a short film that I will direct. As part of my research for this project, I have decided to request from as many people as possible for interesting insights, experiences or stories related to racial prejudice in our country.

What I am asking from you is that you email me your experiences and stories regarding any form of racism, whether it has happened to you, someone you know, or you just happened to be there when it happened. It could also be passing comments that you have overheard. Email me quickly so I can compile the information, and don't be shy to email me later on if more memories come rushing back to you.

If you are braver, please share your stories and experiences as comments of this posting. I hope this will open up an avenue for discussion. However, if you are less brave and would prefer to share your stories over the phone or face-to-face, email me at jamestcc@streamyx.com & arxetures@mac.com (in case one of them doesn't work) and we can arrange something.

For those of you not from Malaysia, please feel free to share your stories with us too. It may help us to see and understand other situations, contexts and cultures.

I shall not share with you the idea for the script yet until I develop it further and it is confirmed by the NGO, KOMAS, that recruited me to make this short movie. I shall keep you informed about the progress of this project.

Dig deep into your past, even to the days of junior school and senior school. You can also share other problems in Malaysia regarding politics or culture that you are aware of or affected by. Your response will be greatly appreciated. And a teh tarik or kopi O will not be out of the question as a gesture of gratitude.

If you want, you can forward this link to every single person you know. The more people involved in the project, the better!

Souvenirs from better times...

2005-06-01T03:54:00.000+08:00

These days I don't see my father unless we have official business, like loaning money or filing taxes. We disguise these meetings as dinners or lunches just to trick ourselves into believing that we actually made an effort to spend time with each other. Today was no different... But many things were different tonight.

I picked him up from his workplace and we headed off to a Chinese place nearby for dinner. I passed him some official documents so he could help me with my company's tax forms. Formality over. Now for the conversation to happen.

In the past many years, I have been finding my father somewhat annoying. I could never have a proper conversation with him without getting bothered. So I don't usually look forward to meeting him. In fact, I was used to not having him in my life, and sadly, I felt a sense of happiness that he wasn't a part of it.

Tonight, things were different.

As the conversation began, it was evident that it wouldn't be as annoying as I remembered it. Maybe he has changed. Maybe I. We talked about many things. My work, his work, Fallen Leaves, Philip's new car, lazy people, women, relationships, his new wife... This caught me off guard. I asked, "That's not possible. You can't officially marry her right? You're not divorced yet..."

"Mom didn't tell you? We're divorced already."

     "When did that happen? Last I heard, it was still being processed."

"Yeah. It takes a while."

     "So when did it become official?"

"2001-2002..."

     "Huh? That's when the divorce was beginning to be processed right?      When was it finali..."

"That was when it was finalised."

     "What?! Really?! I never knew... I never knew."

     "So long ago? It's been years.... I didn't know."

The news sunk in. I kept wondering why no one told me. I wondered if Philip knew.

We continued talking. We talked for a good few hours. For once we talked almost as equals. He was more transparent than I remembered. He told me about how he broke up with the previous woman and how he met his new wife. He told me he would like to bring her along for one of Fallen Leaves' gigs. He was just unsure of whether we would like it or not.

     "How come you never invited us for the wedding?"

"Would you all have come?"

     "I would have! I mean, it's your wedding. I guess it would have      been nice for you to reconcile with mom, but it's probably too late      for that... Life isn't ideal. It never is. Anyway, it's been so long."

"Last time with the previous one you all wouldn't even see her."

     "That one's different. She caused a lot of trouble for all of us. Of      course we didn't like seeing her. Even to look at her! But this one      hasn't done anything to us. There's no bad blood. And it was your      wedding... When was it?"

"2003."

     "So long ago?"

Then we talked about my relationship with Mei. Or what's left of it. Even I myself am unsure. We're not together anymore. But I shared with him that I don't think I'm the type of person that needs a relationship, that I could do without it. But if I had to think about it and pick someone... I couldn't find anyone else that could connect with me the same way.

He started drawing graphs in the air.

"Your relationship has extreme highs and extreme lows. You should look for someone who may not make you as happy... but the relationship is less stressful."

     "But then where's the intencity?! I like that."

"It's not as important. Who knows? Maybe you can find someone who makes you feel even happier."

     "It's possible... but it'll probably take me forever to find that      person."

"Like my previous relationship. It'd be bad, then I'd say we should break up, then she becomes nicer. Everything is great. Then after a while she forgets and the whole cycle repeats itself. My wife now... it's been a couple of years, and she's still ok. She doesn't argue much, she's easy-going and understanding. So everything is just (makes graphs in the air again. Little ascents and descents, very little fluctuations. Means stability.)"

We talked some more. I told him stories. Then we left and I sent him home. It felt nice to be able to pick him up and send him home after all the years of him doing that for me. It felt nice to be able to talk, really talk. Tonight, things were different.

Here's to the memory of the passing of what was already fading...

The title of this post is taken from a line in Death Cab for Cutie's song, Title and Registration.

Act in Fallen Leaves debut music video!

2005-05-16T15:53:00.000+08:00

Greetings earthlings!

Fallen Leaves will be making our first music video at the end of this month! Which happens to be May... just in case you only read this much later on.

We are looking for 2 female talents to act in our long overdue music video for Drown With Me. Please e-mail fallenleaves@gmail.com, or call me at 012 372 0588 if you are interested to be auditioned for the parts.

Please help forward this email to your friends whom you feel may be interested. Spread the word! We need to find the right people immediately so the director can start working with them.

Thank you so much!

Important Announcement!

2005-04-20T16:55:00.000+08:00

Just the other day during a conversation, I revealed that I would be working in an office for 3 weeks. Somehow it seemed that all this time, people don't really consider what I do as a job. But now that I'm in an office, then it's considered a proper job. Let it be made clear that I actually earn more in a month that most of my peers, with leisure time and a sane mind to spare.

I am making this announcement out loud that I do have a job! I am a photographer and a video editor. I own a small company which will be expanding this year to include more skilled professionals, like myself, who refuse to be a slave to the media industry. My time is valuable and people who hire me know that. Take for example this current stint with Red Comm in which I have to enter the office to edit a television programme. I wasn't one of the cheaper video editors, but they hired me anyway because of the quality of my work.

Photographers and Video Editors are skilled professions. Not everyone can do what we do, although that doesn't seem to be the case in Malaysia with so many lousy ones running around. Proper ones are out there, and our skills are worth something.

So yes, even though I do seem to have a lot more free time compared to most people, I do have a career.

With that aside, let me leave you with a couple of photographs of my current 'office'. I arranged the lights to improve the ambience of the room.

This blog entry is dedicated to every single person with the guts to go out there and do what they want to do, leaving behind conventional 9-5 jobs, and committing their lives to something they are passionate about. You have my utmost respect.

Test Tube Series: Vol.1

2005-02-25T08:29:00.000+08:00

The following is the first of my upcoming series of 'art' photos. This piece is entitled Test Tube Series: Vol.1 - Morning, Day & Night.

To touch a female lion's bum...

2005-02-23T19:10:00.000+08:00

Cousin Nick took a day off to take me to the Werribee Open Range Zoo. It's more like a safari than a zoo. The fences are still there, but mainly to keep the lions from eating the rest of the animals. The animals seemed quite happy with the large unenclosed spaces given to them. There was none of that psychotic pacing back and forth that is commonly seen performed by captive animals.

We did reach there later than we should have. We only had enough time for a tram ride with about 10 minutes to wander around. Essentially, that means we didn't have time to wander around.

We made a plan. Right after the tram drops us off, we'd hurry into the pathways so they can't stop us from seeing a bit of the area. Alright, so it doesn't sound like much of a plan. After all, we weren't that stealthy to be able to escape the rangers' sight. Being idiots, we went ahead with the plan anyway.

We ran off after the tram stopped to the screams and shouts of the zoo authorities. We kept runnning. Nothing was going to stop us from exploring the zoo. They chased us. We can. They yelled. We laughed. They got angry. We got happy. Finally we heard some gun shots! That's when we realised that the situation was more serious than it was. We fell down on the spot with our hands over our heads. We looked behind, right into the barrel of a shotgun...

Ok, ok, I got a bit carried away with my imagination and my exploitative storytelling skills.

Here's what really happened...

We got off the tram and walked calmly into the trek as everyone else headed for the exit. It was 4:50pm. We weren't really sure if they closed at 5:00pm or half an hour later. Either way, we were guessing we'd get about 15 minutes to look around before they shooed us out. So we did our best to walk fast and look at our favourite animals. We were unable to resist the allure to take some photos of the beautiful surroundings, and of ourselves of course. I was a proper tourist afterall. So we didn't really hurry. We kinda took our time to soak in the experience.

We walked past at least a couple of rangers and they said nothing. So we thought closing time was 5:30pm. Not much of a rush then.

We reached the lions and they were beautiful. We took dozens of photos as they lay there like veteran models. No complaints from either side. It must be the hot sun. Lions are quite lazy animals anyway. They, and other cats - no discrimination against the lions, sleep up to 16 hours a day on average. That's two third of their lives!! The lazier ones sleep longer of course.

That fact slowly made it's way back into the dungeon of trivia located in the south of our brains. That was about the time we decided to do the unthinkable... make our way towards the closest female lion, and touch her bum! I normally wouldn't touch a female human's bum, but with animals it's an acceptable social norm. And I would not be considered a pervert for doing so.

So we looked around for the lingering rangers. There were none in sight. We made our way across the fence and towards here. We got our cameras ready. Cousin Nick went first. I figured that if the lions were hungry there was enough of Cousin Nick to go around so they would spare me. I do love my cousin... Promise.

He went for the squating pose and touched her bum. I took as many photos as I could. She didn't bother moving or eating Cousin Nick. How disappointing... Did I say disappointing? I meant comforting.

It was now my turn. I too did the squating pose as it seemed to be safe.

We had our photos and now made our way back before they closed the gate. We reached the entrance of the zoo and was surprised that they had locked us in! I guess we could have taken our time then. Cousin Nick took a piss in the toilet as I found our way out. The revolving gate was not locked properly. I could squeeze in and out. So could Cousin Nick who was the size of two me's.

At the top of my list when I return to Melbourne next is to break in and out of the Werribee Open Range Zoo. Yeah!

Hate...

2005-02-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

I just went through a dozen entries of a blog written by someone I don't like. I also looked through photos of people that I didn't particularly fancy from the past. And yet I have no time to reply my emails.

I've realized that the most passionate moments in my life could have possibly been motivated by hate, and not love. My hate for something drives me towards the opposite direction. My hate for a particular concept or philosophy drives me to embrace the opposite. My hate for a trait within my character drives me to develop a new, and opposite trait.

I doubt I hate often... but when I do, those closest to me will notice. I exume it. I preach it. I spread it like a disease.

I guess I'll just have to continue my quest for discontent. To find something to hate so that it drives me to feel, to embrace, to change, to live, and to love.

War and violence are things I have come to hate even more so than before. It drives me to feel compassion. To embrace non-violence. To change myself. To live life with a message of peace. To love those different from myself.

Lantern...

2005-01-23T01:05:00.000+08:00

A beautiful lantern I came across while walking the back alleys of Melaka's Jonker Street a few months ago. Wandering along unfamiliar paths often leads us to beautiful things.

Vogue...

2005-01-22T01:40:00.000+08:00

I always fail to blog because I feel I have nothing important to say. Either that, or nothing profound to enlighten mankind. Many have watched this blog with disappointment as updates are few and far between. Today I will not disappoint anyone but myself, as I will post something insignificant and unprofound... but it'll be fun for those who know the two people in the photo below.

I was the photographer for a studio shoot on Wednesday. I was to capture a Qi Gong sifu in various Qi Gong positions. I told Chin Hor I felt bad for being paid to do such a job as I felt anyone could take these photos. I got ready my solid tripod and my tiny, trusty, underestimated, Canon Powershot G2. As John Goh and I started planning the lighting and fine-tuning it for the shoot, Chin Hor said, "See, it's not that easy to shoot these photos... not everyone can do this." And I realized that that was true. I felt reassured. Thank you.

I cannot go on without mentioning the talent of John Goh. He was a great help with the lighting and I must say that I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to work with him again on a photoshoot in the future. He helped make the photos look good, I cannot take full credit for them. Thank you, John.

I will not post the series of interesting Qi Gong photos that were taken. But I would like to make an animated gif from those photos though, it'd be quite amusing. So if anyone out there can teach me how to make an animated gif, please let me know. Until then... here is a test shot taken on that day. Those interested to hire Chin Hor or Benny to model, please contact 1-800-PRO-MODELS.

Tsunami Aid Day

2005-01-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

Originally posted in Underneath the Photographs:

I woke up today with very little expectations. I wasn't sure how many people would actually attend the fundraiser. And I was even more apprehensive about how many people would actually pay attention and listen to the bands. I was prepared to play to 5 listening ears (Yes, one of those 3 people is deaf in one ear). And I was also prepared to put my ventriloquist skills to use during the other bands performances by throwing my voice to create the majestic illusion that 237 people were listening, cheering, and screaming, "I want to have your baby!"

Luckily for those attending, I didn't have to resort to revealing my hidden talent as many came. It wasn't crowded, no. But for a day sprinkled with rain and a location in some corner of a Sentul suburb, the turnout was great! What was even greater was that the collections superseeded the expected RM5000 to about a total of RM14,000. What was the greatest though was the spirit of all those involved and all those who came. The solidarity and unity was a welcome change to our 21st-century world filled with violence, war and death.

To read more about Tsunami Aid Day, head on to JJ Resources, which is run by Jochebed, who was the co-organizer of this event, along with Chin Hor.

Fallen Leaves performed 2 sets, and played with Sue, of Her Reverie, as support. The rest of her band couldn't make it, so we jammed with her on stage. Others who performed were Sam and Qings & Kueens. We had a great time performing to great people. I must say we were much more relaxed than we were than in recent gigs... must be Uncle Pete's advice starting to kick in. We talked with the crowd, dedicated songs to individuals, and raised more than RM100 as a band through CD sales for the tsunami relief efforts. It rained every time I sang. But the rain was a welcome reminder as to the purpose of the event. The skies kept the atmosphere right on this day. Light rains, just like tears, fell throughout.

I was inspired and decided to sing 'All I Can Say' by David Crowder. I began, "If the tsunami victims were to say any prayer at this point of time, or sing a song... it'd probably be this one."

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give (That's my everything)

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give (That's my everything)

Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give (That's my everything)

Yes, we wish them all hope and peace; things we speak easily about, but may never truly understand their significance until we lose them...

The Invasion has begun...

2004-11-30T18:44:00.000+08:00

She-bot and Fallen Leaves?

2004-11-29T03:55:00.000+08:00

Originally published in Underneath the Photographs:

I'll leak some inside information about the great shake-up happening in the Leaves camp. As part of us taking things more seriously and behaving like a proper band, we're starting to form street teams. And lucky for us, we have young, passionate, and enthusiastic people volunteering and willing to help us out. I won't spill too much of the beans as I love surprises... giving as well as receiving them. But here's a preview of what two talented people designed and drew for us in the past couple of days.

From En. Some graphic design montage which I think looks really nice and would fit right into one of the pages of a future CD sleeve.

From Jeremiah. A first draft of a manga piece he conceived for our promotional and commercial use. I know it's not perfect, but I like it very much. Notice how the leaf from her hand is actually falling and coming nearer to the viewer? I must admit that I was moved when I saw this drawing... a sense of euphoria and pride, like that of a father's. I felt so touched that he actually came up with the concept, and drew this in a day, or at most two. It puts the band to shame. We've been taking our music for granted, and if people believe in us enough to waste their time on our things... it's time we start wasting time on our things too.

This post is dedicated to everyone who helps us believe in ourselves.

Thank you.

I'm back...

2004-11-13T15:09:00.000+08:00

Confessions of a Mockstar is now back online after the mblog fiasco. Mblog is a dishonarable company and I hope that all of you have not been affected too badly by their dishonest dealings. Thankfully, I had been backing up my posts on another site, which remains free and honest, Blurty. So I managed to recover everything from there. However, all the interesting conversations and comments on the mblog site are forever lost. And if you search for my name on Google, you will not find Confessions of a Mockstar anymore. However, I foresee this to change in the near future.

Thank you everyone from all over the globe who have been reading my blog and offering your opinions, they were interesting and greatly appreciated.

Let the blogging begin...

To beat or not to beat? That is the question...

2004-09-05T01:54:00.000+08:00

This is a comment I posted on Messy Christian's blog entitled The "M" Word

You should probably click and read her blog entry before continuing so you don't misunderstand what I'm talking about.

~*~**~*~**~*~~*~~***~~*~~*~**~~**~~****~~*~*~*~~**~~**~~*~~*~~~***~~*

Hmm... no comments on this blog? Surprising. Or have you somehow lost them?

Anyway, I'm here to tell you that you are far off the track and that masturbation is truly a sin! In the Bible, Jesus never masturbated!

Am I sounding like someone from Church O? *haha* I was just kidding. I hate it when people make the stupidest and most ignorant comments and use Bible verses out of context to support their opinion! What verses in the Bible mentioned masturbation being a sin? I sure would like to read those verses, 'cause they have escaped me somehow in the many years I've been a Christian!

A controversial topic this is... I'm glad you had the balls (nothing to do with masturbation, and not like you have the real ones, just a manner of speech) to blog about this. A large portion of the Body of Christ needs to grow (no pun intended! Honest!) up and get out of the shells where they've been hiding and keeping each other warm. Life is bigger than 'masturbation is a sin' and 'the more you give to God, the more he will bless you'!

So I guess it's true that Bill Gates doesn't masturbate and gives millions to furthering God's Kingdom! Bless his kind heart.

Sweet Revenge...

2004-09-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

In an interesting study, it has been discovered that "...revenge is linked to the area of the brain associated with enjoyment and satisfaction." Click below to read the article.

During the study, in a game of trust, most chose greed over the betterment of another. And most of those betrayed chose to then punish the offender. It's interesting to note that even when the test subjects are told that they would increase their winnings by trusting one another, greed still gets the better of them.

Also, fascinatingly, when revenge is being executed, the area of the brain which lights up when you see a photograph of your beloved.. lights up. In the words of psychologist Brian Knutson, "Instead of cold, calculated, reason, it is passion that may plant the seeds of revenge."

It's no wonder I feel so good when someone who hits me is made to stand in the corner of the classroom. I remember the glee I felt when someone who tried to run my go-kart off track spun his cart instead, and landed in the sand. I felt a deep sense of accomplishment and happiness when a teacher who kept picking on me was fired after I riled the whole class to make an honest assessment of her teaching abilities. The list goes on.

Got a list too? No need to be guilt-ridden... we've been wired that way.

Grey-C?

2004-08-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

An alien species delivered as a gift? Click on the image to see what it is.

The Art of Being Sorry...

2004-07-23T02:48:00.000+08:00

It's been a decade since I last argued with my brother. But it finally happened tonight. What made things worse was that my brother was born with the male disability of being incapable of saying sorry. I seem to be doing slightly better because I am about to apologize to all of you... Sorry boys and girls, there will be no juicy details in the space below. For the juicy details, click HERE.

Helping Myself...

2004-07-17T02:38:00.000+08:00

I like helping others... at least I think I do. I like the notion of being a selfless being who's purpose is to make the life of others better, although I know for myself that that's not who I am. But to my credit, I do try. In fact, there are times that I try very hard. There are times when it's easier an there are times when it's not.

I was thinking about this a while ago. I realized that it brings much more into your life than it takes away. We shouldn't be stingy when it comes to helping others because, essentially, what we are doing is holding back good things from ourselves.

I noticed the semesters that I had straight As were the semesters that I was tutoring my peers. Just helping out as much as I could every day to help them through. Of course I did contribute to them understanding the modules better, but I also contributed to me doing better. In this case it's pretty tangible. The more I tutor, the more I understand, thus the better I do. There are, however, many other cases where the results are less tangible. But I know for sure that my own life is enriched whenever I contribute to the joy or success of another human being.

When I help others... I am helping myself.

Conversation with a Muslim...

2004-05-14T04:04:00.000+08:00

This is a recent e-mail conversation I had with my Muslim friend after he read my Allah or Jesus?... Truth or fiction? and Rick Mathes' Official website posts.

His words are in bold.

Hi James,

Hi Shamyl!

Thanks for the email. I hope there are more who share your sentiments.

You are very welcome. Thank you for your reply. I can assure you that there are others that share my sentiments. In fact, the person who forwarded the chain mail to me in the first place said thanks for the enlightenment and that he was going to forward my reply to everyone that he forwarded the chain mail to!

So hopefully, another 30 or so people will spread the word and stop the hate.

What I am upset about is that the actions and words of these so-called "muslims", have forced those who are true to their faith to defend it. This is a real shame.

I agree, I guess all extremists, of all forms, are an embarrassment to us all. Isn't it funny that all religions teach us to love each other and to restore peace?
And so many throughout history and today are using God's name to kill and destroy.

Anyway, just wanted to give the thumbs up for your courage to voice your thoughts and opinions.

Thanks for your vote of confidence!
I was just doing my bit to make the world a better place.

Love your neighbour, no matter what his/her religion may be.
Shamyl

Yes, we all have the same Father,
James

Rick Mathes' Official Website

2004-05-13T03:44:00.000+08:00

Rick Mathes' Official Website

Here's some excerpts from the site, further proving his ignorance and hatred towards the Muslims. The quote is taken from his official website.

"Last, but not least, I find it amusing that those within the Islamic faith who were contacted for comment were offended and denied the crux of the point which Mr. Mathes was making. I would highly suggest that you read the Koran, which is quite explicit as to the fate of those who are identified as "infidels". I might also remind those reading this that it was the followers of Muhammad - not Christ - that destroyed the World Trade Center buildings killing thousands of innocent "infidels"; Muslims are killing our troops in Iraq - not Christians. Need I say more?"

First of all, it was the 'Christians' who invaded a Muslim community without cause and are still unable to justify it other than 'freedom'. I guess we're allowed to change our reasons when we kill millions of people. It makes me sick that no one can punish Bush and his administration for not being able to find Weapons of Mass Destruction, thus killing without reason!

If you read Rick's website further, you'll find many other instances of anti-Muslim comments.

Could it be that he and I worship the same god?

Allah or Jesus?... Truth or Fiction?

2004-05-13T03:42:00.001+08:00

I'm pretty upset at the moment with American propaganda and their ability to manipulate the truth for their own advantage... and sadly, a majority of the world believe what they see on CNN, and a majority of Christians, what they read from Christian ministers.

Here's my response to Rick Mathes' chain mail :

After reading the e-mail, I was was slightly suspicious about the credibility of the source as I have read before that Americans have misconstrued the meaning of 'jihad' to mean Holy War, when that is not the real meaning of the word. So for an 'Imam' to respond the way he did and not correct Rick Mathes was suspicious.

The definition of Jihad: The meaning of Jihad in Islam is to wage a (Holy) war with the Self. That is, it is the war which rages inside all believers of all faiths. It is the war of the Spiritual Self against the desires of the Selfish Self. It is a war waged to cut asunder the veils which have shut us out from the Beauty of God and His Desire for us. That is one of many purposes for the Fast of Ramadan. To focus your Self, your Soul, on the Desire of God, and your Submission (Islam) to His Will.

So I did a quick Google search and got a few links. Turns out that Rick Mathes stands by his testimony. But the TRUTH is to be different from his account.

Some excerpts in case you're too busy to read the web page:

• The presenter on Islam was not an Imam, but rather a Muslim inmate who was pressed into presenting after no Imam could be arranged.

• Prison officials confirm that the Muslim inmate was asked a few questions that he was unable to answer, but none along the lines of those suggested by Mr. Mathes.

For more chain-letters that should be stopped, click here.

Anyway, from Rick Mathes rebuttal in the above website, he does come across as someone who doesn't favour the Muslim community much and is highly suspicious of them;

"...Give me an Imam that will sing "God Bless America" or will say the "Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag" and I will listen to them discredit the fears we have about the Muslim community and all that we see and hear in the media. Until the American Muslim community speaks up, I have my doubts about those who join them."

I will have to say that it is an ignorant and narrow view.

Most people believe what the media has to say, but as someone who has studied the way media works, I will tell you that CNN, and other news agencies are tools of propaganda, just like our local newspapers, which are owned by the government. We cannot believe everything they say without doing our own research.

Many Christians, sadly, have fallen into this trap since 9/11. Mr.Bush will quote scripture, but his actions and the actions of other Christians actually put us to shame. What happened to loving others and loving our neighbours? Others, like me, are unhappy with the words of Rick Mathes, attempting to belittle the Muslim faith and it's leaders. Read their comments.

If it was a true account, I'd have little to say, but there are many Christians (many of them Americans for some reason) who are on the Internet telling stories and belittling others by lying. And it makes me really sad that Christians should be so 'evil' and prejudiced against others.

Love your neighbour, even if he is Muslim...

Happy Birthday Ham...

2004-03-20T00:35:00.000+08:00

I was reminded tonight why I hate going to parties. They remind me of how insignificant I am. I easily get lost in a crowd of friends. Not my friends. And tonight I got lost in a crowd of 15. Everyone else seemed to connect with at least one other person there. And tonight I should have connected too, right? Afterall, Ham is one of my best friends.

I sat with the birthday boy and a few other prominent players in the music scene almost the whole time I was there. But I was alone. We might as well have been in different rooms. The conversation was about music, bands, corporate life, and the deficiency of others. I was listening, but I wasn't part of it. I connected with his girlfriend, Ding and her friend more than anyone else tonight. Ding tried convincing me to watch some TV, some cartoons, cuz she said I looked so bored. I was, but why would I want to watch TV during my best friend's party? It goes against my principles. Watch TV alone in a party? What a loser. The same level of loser-ness as sitting on a table alone, a nobody.

I left just after midnight. I was polite. I sang the song, I ate the cake, I wished him well.

I walked to my car alone in the dark, leaving behind one of my best friends... my heart broken.

Lent...

2004-02-26T02:21:00.000+08:00

Fresh from the design oven of Arxetures Studios. In time for the season of Lent. As we remember the last days of Christ, remember the blood he spilt.

Clean...

2004-02-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Eyes that are wide open can find beauty in anything, anywhere.

Behold the traditional hand wash of the Chinese restaurants. Made of Chinese tea and a slice of lime. You simply dip your fingers in, squeeze the lime, and rub your fingers. The oil will disappear, leaving behind clean, nice-smelling fingers.

What I find more appealing than the cleaning ability is that the wash is communal. We don't get personal bowls. We all share one. We all put our dirty fingers in. We all pull our clean fingers out. For some reason, I find that appealing. We become equals. No one is too dirty to share the bowl.

If only we lived life like how we share the lime tea wash...

Mist...

2004-02-19T02:22:00.000+08:00

Driving around the Bukit Damansara area today after the rain was a delight. The mist made everything look different. It made the ordinary look special. It gave the mundane a sparkle. It made me smile.

Just like someone I know...

NEw...

2004-01-23T02:32:00.000+08:00

It's the first day of the Lunar New Year and I've already seen two things that I've never seen before in my lifetime.

ONE: A petrol station running out of petrol. Due to the large influx of vehicles making their way outstation, the ProJet just before the East-West Expressway was empty before noon!

TWO: Someone telling the mamak that the teh tarik is not sweet enough! Unbelievable, but it happened. It's always a joke amongst us that you will never hear anyone asking the mamak to sweeten the teh tarik. Even when you ask for 'kurang manis' {less sweet}, it's still so very sweet. It finally happened, and I saw it with my very own eyes. Hurray for my grandma! We couldn't believe it so my cousins, my brother, and I took turns to taste it... and my grandma was not losing her taste, it really wasn't sweet enough!

I've also been doing something I've never done before. For the past two nights, I've been walking my dogs. I know these tiny creatures run all around my garden already, but I thought it'd be nice if they could see the great outdoors... legally! Instead of sneaking out on me all the time! Plus, the nights are beautiful and great for walking. It's good for them and for me. I'll keep this up as a new routine.

I also haven't been taking photographs for my own pleasure for a little while now. So tonight I set forth with a mission; to capture the old blue truck at the construction site on film. That I did.

I'm pleased.

Chinese New Year...

2004-01-22T10:22:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is here once again. The Chinese and their Lunar Calanders never seem to go wrong. Each year it's the same... bright sun, hot weather, high temperatures, mixed with strong winds here and there. Not once has the Chinese New Year been a rainy affair, nor a cloudy one. For that matter, it hasn't even been comfortably warm.

Someone from Australia asked me if I enjoyed Chinese New Year. I said, "Of course. It's always a good excuse to celebrate. A good excuse to meet up with friends and family. A good excuse to exchange gifts."

Celebrative seasons are sprinkled throughout the year. They come, they go. They make life more exciting. People seem more alive. People seem happier. Families get together, even if they may not get along. Friends remember to greet each other, even when many times they forget to call. We smile and laugh, even when some of us have forgotten how to.

Then I thought to myself...

Wouldn't it be nice if we all lived like it was Chinese New Year, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Easter, Hari Raya, Thaipusam, Deepavali, our birthday, Mother's Day, Merdeka Day, and Thanksgiving every day?

Job's Friends...

2004-01-13T11:44:00.000+08:00

Reading the book of Job from The Message by Eugene Peterson, I'm intrigued by the fact that reading this book at this stage of my life bears a different meaning from my teenage years.

The advice given by Job's friends sound all too familiar.

"You must have sinned to be going through what you're going through now... go and repent."

"Bad things only happen to those who don't love God."

"How could you question God in such a manner?"

I realize now, the friends of Job are meant to be examples of fellow believers... and how their lack of depth in the understanding of God and faith lead to the unbiblical judgements that they hold.

The truth is... sometimes good people go through shit as well. And the most faithful of God's followers may not have a perfect life. Well, life in the fallen world is like that.

Questioning God the way Job questioned God is part of a healthy spiritual life. It's not healthy or more noble when you don't ask God questions. He was being honest... questioning the logic behind his suffering and why God would allow it.

When there is a sense of injustice, there will be questions, there will be pain, and there will be doubt. Keeping these emotions hidden, pretending that it's all alright, and that you are deeply in love with God every second of every day will only lead to a path of thorns.

We can all be honest with God. He can take it. He can take our doubts and our interrogation. He really can. Isn't that what a real relationship is about? Working through uncomfortable situations, and having uncomfortable conversations... all this so that you can both grow closer together.

Stories that make me feel sad...

2004-01-11T13:36:00.000+08:00

I am overcome by emotion... not because of my own experiences, but by the life of a close friend and a programme on MTV called, 'Flipped'.

I'm quite pleased with MTV. MTV to me all this time was pure fluff. Nothing but an instigator of boring, soulless, pop culture. But with this programme, they have redeemed themselves. At least they're doing something worthwhile with the popularity that they own.

I've watched other episodes before. Young kids are put into situations the opposite of their current lives. On a previous episode, 2 school bullies, one male, another female, were dressed up as nerds and sent to new schools. They experienced first-hand how it felt like to be made fun of and teased by everyone. The experience changed their lives. They realized how their behaviour strongly affects the emotions and well-being of the marginalized. Now they stand up for those being bullied.

In today's episode, they exposed a boy and a girl, both addicted to tobacco, to a life ruined by it. Oral cancer. Emphysema. Tobacco related problems have never really pinched my heart. But the stories told and the tears shed made me cry from within. The closing scene of the Major League hopeful hugging his mother and both of them crying together moved me. More painful was the tearful sharing from a patient of emphysema:

"I have trouble breathing. And I don't sleep well every night because the machine that helps me breathe is so noisy. People think that this disease only affects those 60 or 70. I'm only 41. Emphysema isn't a disease that kills you. It's the effects of emphysema that kill you."

Before the show, I was listening to stories about a close friend. In recent months, his life has collapsed around him. I'm not talking about being dumped. Not talking about a failed business venture. Not talking about betrayal. Not talking about family-related issues. Not talking about misforture. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about all the above, rolled into one flaming ball, hitting you hard where it hurts.

It's odd that I was reading the book of Job just last night. Suffering is the keyword. A good life... flipped. My heart ached for him. Everything just falls in unison. A domino effect. A series of bad choices made, followed by a series of misfortunes. Business venture fails. A run-in with loan sharks. Redemption from friends and family. Lies and deceit. Financial breakdown. Marital stress. Divorce. Mother faces health problems. Loses money that doesn't belong. Accused of stealing. Gossip spreads. Integrity questioned. Image tarnished. Mother-in-law doesn't want to take care of the baby anymore.

Where does one go from here?